Out of it

I sometimes find myself stuck in these patterns of blaming myself for not doing enough. Or not being enough. Well, it's a struggle. So it's good sometimes to remember to enjoy and appreciate every little thing that you did each day. Just contemplate everything  you have gone through that day and be content with even the smallest accomplishments. High five yourself for being able to get through and end the day with a big smile. Tomorrow will be even better!

Each day a step towards becoming the person you want to become. 

What I would like to be like?

Accept yourself for who you are, and just be you.

How would I describe the person I want to be?- that was my homework this past week. 
I really want to be a one of those very self-confident persons, you know, not the arrogant type, but the very calm, that have this tranquility impregnated all over their behavior and leave you with the impression that they have all possible knowledge on life and serenity is their most normal state of mind.
I would love to be an anxiety-free person. I've been having a really bad time these past few days, and I can't seem to be able to get a grip. I feel tired and a bit overwhelmed, I  just want to escape my own thoughts and occupy my mind with other thoughts. I was taking some pills for sleeping and now I'm in the process of stopping, so I guess that could be a reason, although I am not definitely sure.
I want to be able to relax and stop worrying about everything. I want to be a strong person, in control of her emotions and thoughts.
I want to use my imagination for the right things, not for negative scenarios that are most probably never going to happen. I want to be happy. I want to be an emotional stable person, that knows how to handle things and knows how to enjoy life and live a full happy life. I want to be courageous and go out there and reach out for my dreams, in order to make them come true. 
In the end, I guess I just really, desperately want to be happy. Don't we all?

Everything is temporary

As of this week, this is my mantra. I think it holds such a deep understanding of how one could perceive life and be at ease with it. It's only once you see this and accept everything that comes with it, you can find your peace within. Good or bad, it's only temporary. From biological, to abiotic life, material or not, it's temporary. So you're then left with the now, which is the perfect moment to take everything good out of and enjoy it. I'm definitely embracing the "live in the present" concept and I am starting to love it.


Astazi ma simt recunoscatoare pentru ca traiesc in prezent.

Bring the funny in

After going through all those negative scenarios in your head, set them free. Try to think about what's the real possibility of all those bad things really happening. Then try to understand what makes you think about those things. Where does it all start?
You won't be able to clear everything from the start, but don't give up.
After some soul searching, there is nothing better to get you out of that negative mood than a good laugh. It's been proven scientifically that laughter really helps. Maybe you don't really feel like watching a comedy, but that's when you should do exactly that. Or have some nice reading time. Did you ever read Three Men in a Boat? 
That book brings my spirit up every time. You can go to the theatre, see a funny play, listen to some happy songs- you can find ready-made playlists, go out with friends for a fun activity, maybe read some jokes. Do something you don't usually do, just make it fun.
What's your favourite way to unwind? What do you do for fun?

Change your thoughts

And 
you
will
change
your
world

What I like and don't like about myself

A very important part of starting the "healing" process is knowing yourself better. Maybe you think you do, maybe you never thought about it. In order to identify where it all comes from, you should definitely have an introspection. Well, my "homework" for today was to write what I like and don't like about myself.

I had a strange reaction to "homework" and writing about me. It's strange to not know things about yourself, but hey, we're all in the process of "becoming". So that's a good thing. So I'm pouring my honest self here, with the good and the bad. that I know of)

Ahm..what I like about me? I like that deep down inside I AM an optimist. Even through some "first-world" problems, like developing the right career, being stuck and pressured into life changing decisions, having some bad insomnia episodes and days of blur and unhappiness, worries that "what if these feelings are here to stay" forever, I never lost hope. Never.
I just know that I need to keep going and it will all get better. Never ever loose hope.
I like that I am ambitious. I have this strenght to go ahead and do it, whatever it is that I decide to do. I am not always successful, but I do try my best. I like that I have this witty personality. And intelligence. Definitely that. Intelligence. That's important, and I like it.
I like that I am sociable and open to people,  I am-probably- a good communicator. I should note here that I don't encounter social anxiety in my life. I don't have an issue with that. I have other issues.
I have a strong desire to become better, to be a better person, to learn more, to see more, to live more.
I think I'm a strong person, but very emotional and generous in my sentimental life.

I don't like:

the fear, obviously, the effing fear. That's the point where I realize that the fear IS JUST A FEELING, not a characteristic of my beautiful personality.
What I don't like is that I can be an egoistic person, sometimes I'm dishonest and passive-aggressive. I hold things in. I definitely don't like that I get over stressed and worried. I worry. 
A lot. About lots of things. I hate that. I worry about things that I can not control. Now, isn't that just silly?
I hate that I have to wonder if I will be ok..and the constant wondering if I am just a normal person(?) - well then that' s where I see a greater purpose for this blog- It's VERY important to know that there are SO many other people going through this. Yes, normal people. The world wide web is full of our stories, of our struggle and success. 
I don't like that I envy people (what's up with that? Bleah! )
I don't like that I'm a bit indecisive about some things in my life (it sorta depends on the context).
I don't like that I am the kind of persons that looks back with regrets...and I don't like that the list for "I don't like"s is getting longer than the likes one, so I'm stopping here.
I'm joking, I'm actually done for the moment. 
So..do it for yourselves. Do a bit of introspection. Do it alone, find a therapist, talk to someone about your anxiety. Don't let yourself go mad, just be open about it.

Anxiety no more

Basically this is one of those typical inspirational photos and proverbs that I usually mock. I am not turning my back to my sarcastic self, I'm just on my way to embrace more of life. And therefore, pictures such as this one. And hopefully other silly things that I wanted to be too mature for, but I probably am not.
The purpose of this blog is to follow my steps through the on going  process of becoming a stronger ME and defining a less anxious and happier ME.
The main purpose is to keep track of the steps I take while following therapy (hurray), to make notes on how I'm improving and eventually (hopefully) to be here for others going through the same thing.
I won't go- at this point- through what anxiety is for me and how it all started. It's been a big part of my life for the past 4 years, and yes, I've been there, in those "no one knows what I'm going through, this is the most terrible thing a person can experience". But I am a survivor, we all are. It's NOT a life threatening condition, it will have as much of a role in your life as you allow it to have.

Ro: Scopul acestui blog este de a urma pașii mei prin procesul în curs de desfășurare de a deveni o persoana mai puternica, un EU mai puternic și de definire a unui EU lipsit de anxietate si mai fericit.
Scopul principal este de a imi urmări pașii în timpul terapiei (da, am gasit psihologul potrivit si sunt cat se poate de incantata) , pentru a face notițe despre cum eu simt eu îmbunătățirile  și în cele din urmă  să fiu aici pentru alții care trec prin acelasi lucru .
Nu voi descrie acum ceea ce este anxietatea  pentru mine și cum a început totul . A fost o mare parte din viața mea în ultimii patru ani , și da, am fost acolo , în acele " nimeni nu știe prin ce trec, acesta este cel mai groaznic lucru posibil" . Dar eu sunt o supraviețuitoare, cu toții suntem! Nu este o condiție care pune viața în pericol, si tu decizi ce rol are in viata ta.